8 Comments
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victoria's avatar

Really enjoyed reading this. I found the portrayal of Donna in The Bear especially the Childbirth episode in season 2 to be quietly radical. I completely agree with you that it feels taboo to try to explain the mother wound out loud. Can cause a lot of friction between siblings when each see's it differently too. This was brave writing.

Ben Jenkins's avatar

Thank you Victoria. I need to hurry up on my Bear viewing as I haven't got to that. You're bang on about sibling perspectives. We can't force our own on each other as it turns out we all had quite different experiences. I think sons get away with more than daughters for instance with mothers.

Lindsey Brown's avatar

Wow! Fascinating, thought provoking and eloquently put. This hit home especially ‘both mothers and their offspring find themselves gaslit by a monumental fairytale..’

The sooner this subject can be openly discussed the easier it will be for mums who know they could do better to ask for the help they need to break the cycle.

Ben Jenkins's avatar

I'm so glad it resonated (and didn't offend!) And yes, part of the issue is that mums themselves are ossified by this fake picture of reality. This then prevents them from asking for help - as that would immediately reveal their fallibility (which is forbidden!)

NFL, Weakly's avatar

Hey Ben, have you ever checked out this award-winning book? Set in U.K. Fantastic for young readers but appeals to adults as well. WW2 (and moms) from a radically different perspective.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20912424-the-war-that-saved-my-life

Ben Jenkins's avatar

I hadn't heard of it but just read the synopsis and it looks brilliant. It's now on my list. Thank you.

Nick Bodor's avatar

Thanks for having an honest and tough discussion... im going to call my mom now who is British, but mine is like an actual female Mrs Doubtfire both physically and always wanting to help out and see the possitive aspects in our often difficult hopefully long lives.

Ben Jenkins's avatar

Thanks Nick. Sounds like you have one that stuck to the assigned role! Some do and can. Maybe it's because she left the UK early enough so did what Philip Larkin suggested and broke the chain a little..